I’m old, so my sensibilities come from a time before most people were born (exaggeration-but you get the point). One of the benefits of aging is that the older you get, the less you care what other people think about your opinions. As I read and talk to people who poo-poo the benefits of fine dining-ware, I must say I disagree.

The problem is, as I see it, lingering over meals is no longer a thing, and with families scattered all across the globe, the kind of huge family dinners that used to be holiday celebrations, and big, fancy parties that marked significant events have given over to “come as you are,” “bring a dish,” “eat what you want,” with paper plates and plastic forks, and huge black garbage bags to make clean-up a snap. Part of this is the necessity we all feel to live and work at a maniacal pace most of the time, making any holiday most valuable as the opportunity to “sleep in.” The last thing you want to do is spend hours in meal preparation and clean-up.

But I do think we’ve lost some of the joy of living by wishing away every day, as either “I only have to get through this week until I can rest on the weekend” or “my idea of a holiday is doing nothing for a whole day.” Sad. Maybe the answer is not less significant meals, but less insignificant use of our time.

Reason #1: Beautiful dishes feel like a meal was made with extra care, and people want to linger and give appreciation to the time the food took to prepare.

I also love a good barbeque, and I certainly enjoy seeing people enjoy my potato salad, deviled eggs, and chocolate chip cookies. Beer and wings for a Super Bowl party is definitely the way to go. Hot dogs, hamburgers and watermelon are an absolute go-to for the 4th of July. And there is no denying that sweeping it all into a garbage bag has great appeal.

But there are times when it is appropriate to sit down around a table, eat from lovely china, drink from beautiful crystal, and give a holiday or a milestone event the time and thoughtfulness it deserves. In fact, I would go so far to say that it is our lack of willingness to give extra care and attention to such occasions that contributes to our societal malaise, and the general sense of “home” as a transitory place to store your stuff.

Reason #2: A beautifully set table gives the participants the opportunity to pause and mark a momentous event, whether it’s a milestone like an engagement, or the crazy rare occasion of having your entire family together.

Holidays have always been important to me, and I look forward to them all year. A big part of that was sitting at the dining room table, using my grandmother’s china, and feeling special and grown up. It was a rite of passage to be considered old enough to sit at the table with the adults, and as such, carried with it the implication of good behavior and proper manners. I learned to be considerate of others, to keep my voice to a reasonable, conversational level, to savor the carefully prepared food we only ate for holidays, and to eat it in such a way that didn’t make the people around me lose their appetite.

Reason #3: Teaching children manners as a desirable act of maturity, and not an quirky life-skill.

I love pulling out my wedding china and my grandmother’s china for special parties, like the office Christmas party or bridal/baby showers. I have also had a few “formal” British-style teas because they are just so much fun. I love making my guests feel like I consider them worthy of using my best everything. I hope they have felt cherished and honored and, perhaps, remember the event as a different kind of get-together.

Reason #4: Honor your guests by using your best.

When I use my grandmother’s china, or my china because that ‘s what she and my mom did, it’s almost like having them in the room with me. There is an important sense of your place in the world that comes with honoring family traditions. Using china, if that’s a family thing for you, connects your family to its past and its future as the next generation continues to value sitting down to a beautifully laid table and lingering over a lovingly prepared meal.

Reason #5: Both sides of my family had special china and glassware for special occasions, and I have used them for my own children to ground them with the knowledge of their predecessors–whom, by the way, we often talk about over dinner.

I have begun using my wedding china and crystal-Charleston by Lenox and King Edward by Gorham-on a daily basis, just because it makes me happy. When I hold the special pieces and admire their beauty, it makes me more aware of what I’m eating and more satisfied with the food. It also inspires me to believe that care and craftsmanship still exist. I’m not delusional enough to think one person slaves over each piece of china, but I know that the manufacturers care about their product, and you can feel the difference in the quality of the materials they use.

Reason #6: I use it because it makes me happy.

I doubt I will win over any fine china “converts” from new generations. Many of my own contemporaries have sold or given away their special wedding or inherited china, crystal, and silver that we Baby Boomers seem to have in unwanted surplus. Our children don’t want it, and we can’t sell it for any real value.

The truth is, I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I will continue to use and enjoy my beautiful pieces until I go to the nursing home or die, and then my kids can throw it out if they don’t want it. But I hope they look at it and remember the many family meals we had, celebrating holidays and birthdays, eating food that we only prepared for special occasions, sitting around the dining room table lingering in each others’ company without television or cell phones. There is even joy in doing the dishes together, conversing about this or that in time we don’t often make for each other any more. My sister and I used to sing while we did the dishes. We don’t even see each other once a year any more, never mind singing together, but it is still a very happy memory.

Some “outdated” traditions are well-worth the trouble, especially if they make you sigh and say, “That was really special.”